It is now past Mothers Day. And I have a chance to s'it back, relax and reflect... oh wait. No, no that must have been in a dream I had. My kids miss out on "Mom Time" Alot. Like a lot more then I would even want to admit. If you come in the bakery, you have seen one, two or if you are lucky all three at a time. Is it professional? I'm not sure. Jeremy and a lot of customers have said that is how "family businesses' are. So I guess I will take it.

It doesn't make the screaming, crying and noise any less embarrassing. You never know who is walking in. I swear, Single Mothers everywhere need a damn trophy. How they handle it all is beyond me. We have a beautiful, and really supportive family who helps me out like I can't even describe. I also have my husband, my partner, my best friend- and my pain in the ass. He helps me more then I probably care to admit. But he does. I am human, I get frustrated with my kids. I don't know when to turn off "work." I never just stop. It is a constant battle of balancing work, mom and taking care of myself and mentality.

I want to be able to have my kids look at me, and learn from my successes and failures. I want them to realize that being rich doesn't mean you are successful. In all honesty, we are not rich. we are barely middle class- but I feel successful. We took everything we had and more, and pushed an idea into a company, worked this company night and day and created an actual business. I want my children to see I am doing this for them- to see that college degrees do not define you. That doesn't make you more better or worse. Take whatever you are passionate about and believe in it.

Whoa. That was deep. But honestly? It is so true. My kids each have their own cupcake on the menu now. They think they are hot shit. And, I mean they pretty much are. The pride that beams off their fair skin when I tell them their signature cupcakes were ordered, or sold out, is really enough of an approval of my long hours. 

I am now on my 16th hour of work. No seriously. And that is about how every Friday and Saturday are.... sometimes Thursday and Sundays too. I am exhausted, I have about 50 people dancing to a cover band right now and I can barely keep my eyes open. But at the end of it all I feel really blessed to be able to call this idea, mine. Well no, ours. We are not perfect. Not every cupcake is perfect, or cake or flawless. Trust me, we learn more and more each day. Trail and Error, You Tube, Tips from others... we take it all. Honestly, sometimes I can't believe we have as many dedicated customers that we do. That we have so many customers walk in for the first time and now are repeats. So thanks for sticking with us through cakes that were less then perfect, cupcakes that were half the size, and flavors that should have never been together. We just keep trying to get better with age. Kind of like wine. ;) 

Valentines Day, was madness. I don't think we were ready for it. We looked back this morning to see com parables of last year to this year... and we were up by 3x as much. We felt it, our bodies felt it and so did our employees.

We kind of loved it all in the same time. Friday and Saturday were just pure craziness, and then Sunday we all just reflected about how awesome it was- but we feel like we are delirious. Sunday we thought would be dead- was not. It was a fantastic weekend. More fantastic then most. Although this might catch flack - I really do enjoy working weekends.

I have three kids and not seeing them on the weekends is the worst, being late or not being able to bring my daughter to dance almost every single Saturday, and not being able to bring my boys to the movies for getting all A's on their report card- I feel like if I am not at the bakery  Thurs- Sun (I am there everyday...) all day then something can happen, a cake will get made wrong, too many phone calls will get unanswered. Or I just need to feel like it is running more smoothly.

We have a great staff.. all 8 of them, plus myself and Jeremy. It is crazy to think we have grown that much- but we are still in the developing stages I feel. In a year from now I want to know all our debt is paid which luckily is not much, all our equipment is bought and we have a routine for things on how we want them to run.

Lets be honest, most businesses are opened in two ways- with a backer, (an investor) or without one. We did not have one this time around. When we opened our store we have -221.00 in our account. No lie.

We had all equipment to buy, piece by piece. Craigslist, other bakeries going out of business, and just in all honesty skipping out on paying a bill or two of our own to get a fridge, or an oven, or mixer. Jeremy and myself have a great support system outside of the bakery - some who work or frequent there (my dad is like the mascot I swear.) and they helped us when needed. This might get a little deep, but its life.... we had a choice of paying our employees, and getting supplies a few months ago and not having heat for our house.  My dad came in and was a saint. We have three kids, we will never let them freeze - but yeah we don't get to draw a check every week like many think. There is no savings, or plan B (or C, or D) yet. We are in that growing phase.

It is hard, and a few months ago I had a couple weeks of a low point- of crying wondering what we were going to do. My husband who is the optimistic one- told me to go into work the next day and look around at all that we have accomplished, to look at our house, our kids, our cards, our dogs and all materialistic items we have. Look at all those- and realize that no matter how hard of a time we were going through, we are still very fortunate to have what we have. He is so right. He is so amazing. He makes me realize as much as I think other businesses have it better, they probably don't

Every single day- we have people telling us how lucky we are, how popular we are getting, etc.. and it is really surreal. To know that we started from NOTHING. Gave up everything, and I mean everything to push this company. We have no investor, we have no partners, we have each other to keep it going. We eat, breath and (hardly ever) sleep this company. I am proud of myself, now after getting through that rut I was in, and proud of my husband, our staff, our storefront, and everything we are going to do.

This is so sappy, but it is true. I never dream about success, I work for it. To quote Bright Eyes (whoa...) I would rather be working for a paycheck then waiting to win the lottery.

 

January is almost over... THANK GOD!

Not that we do terrible in January, but I mean hey- I got my hair cut and colored for $50 bucks, have gotten so many sales at local stores  and signed up for a gym with nothing down. January sucks just a little bit for everyone- and well when you are selling sweets, and everyone is on the "New Year New Me" kick it ain't helping!

But hey it is always someones birthday, anniversary, a reason to thank someone, and well music. We expanded- and we have a stage made thanks to Jeremy's friend Baby Alan ( I actually don't know why he is called Baby Alan, other then his real name is Alan, and the Baby part I forgot....) and thanks to Santa bringing lots of Guitar Center gift cards to Jeremy we have a PA System- so we have been having a lot of local bands from New England playing. And not because they come and bring a lot of people who buy cupcakes- but so far, everyone has been insanely talented. Music I would put in my car and sing really loud to talented.

So we have a lot under our belt, but it all ends up in some way tying with cupcakes. We are clever like that.

Another reason why I am not a fan of January, besides it being my birthday month and well- I am a Debbie the Downer on my birthday- but I always end up sick and so do my kids. All three, and if I am lucky all at the same time. It makes it so much easier if one is sick at each time, then it is just an on going cycle of puke, tissues, sleepless nights and doctor visits.

Also speaking of my age- this article from Connecticut Magazine came out-
http://www.connecticutmag.com/Connecticut-Magazine/February-2015/40-Under-40-Class-of-2015/

Top 40 under 40. I made the list. I have no idea how, but it is pretty awesome, and what was more awesome reading the other 39 peoples bios and why they were on the list. It is crazy to see so much talent. My good friend, Kate from KSJ made the list as well and she is just amazing and the poster girl from Hustler. She is non stop, and pushes her product- doing her website, making new inventory, making flyers and promoting and doing shows almost all weekend. Totally well deserved, she is amazing and so is her work.

Also I can't even believe I didn't post this. 

Personally, This is Hardcore is our favorite fest to do.

Why? Because its an out of state trip, which makes it exciting.

It isn't too far to make it a pain in the ass. 

This year Corin came and let me tell you - it was an amazing time. 

I wish we filmed all the shit that can go wrong in a food truck fest, in a road trip, in a work trip- in our day at Hardcore Sweet pretty much... 

We get to the hotel- they didn't book our hotel.

Do you know how hard it is to find a hotel that isn't booked during this weekend especially at 4am.

It was hot. Its end of the July, and when your AC was ripped off the week before your cupcake truck- let me tell you shit just is not fun. You are stressed your product will melt, that you made too much, that you forgot something (which lets be for real we did.) 

But one thing I can say is my husband went to this fest with reservations and excitement all in one.  Jeremy as he puts it, is on "hiatus" with his band. He left, he let them do whatever they need to do to put out another album. 

It's hard, I feel like I see my husband sad, and hurt- I hurt. Not to be a sentimental sap, but damn this was the one thing he dedicated himself to before he was married, so it hurt him to see his band play without him for this first time. It was like a band aid. Who knows how permanent it is, whatever his choice is - I support. Personally the reasons why it happened are his- they are silly, and I get his anger and why he just wants to be happy and not be near anything, anyone or any situation that is negative. He is so blessed to have some great friends, a lot that are now good friends of mine, and

Thank God my husband is a loyal guy. He is so optimistic and humble.  He at least got to do some filming at This is Hardcore- this is something him and a friend of his Mike worked hard on.

Jeremy is so proud of this video, and that makes me proud of him - he found something to be dedicated to- and I see the excitement he gets from making this mini documentary.

Ok, GO WATCH!

Okay, Okay I am such a liar. I can't keep up my end of the bargain on the blog. But then again - this is probably only for me, like a therapy. 

I need to get better at this, post, document, and look back and laugh at all the shit we have to do and hopefully smile in a year when all these sacrifices we are doing now will be in the past! 

Luckily we are getting an amazing crew. We are doing so many great opportunities. Too many opportunities are thrown our way, and unfortunately we have to turn down.

We have been asked to have our truck at every single event throughout the state, and we are so booked and with one truck we can only book up so much.

Hardcore Sweet is in high demand in LA- We were just asked to do the SOA series finale party, and the AMA's and a few other events- we just can't. We have small kids who have schedules, and a very small work crew, granted are amazing, but just not all are the most reliable. It happens.

Meeting with Mo, the owner of the Pin Shop this week gave us a huge perspective to running a business. This guy- is just one of the most nicest, kind hearted people we have come across, and his words of wisdom really do stick. This is someone who busts his ass all day, every day- and runs businesses.

He said, it takes a rare and certain type of person who can write their name on the front of the checks. Not everyone can do that- not everyone wants to. Most just want to come in do their minimal and get paid. 

It is hard, it is so hard to write so many checks out- make sure vendors are paid, employees are paid, rent is paid, and wait to take a check in 6 weeks after everything clears and you have a weekend. It is like a gamble sometimes - we have 3 kids and it is really stressful- lets hope we bust our ass hard enough to make sure we have enough money to treat the kids to ice cream this week, to pay the electric, hell - to have gas to get to our own business. 

We kind of laugh now, especially with local business owners, who know the crap shoot of owning a business- especially one that has NO, we mean ZERO capital. Every piece of equipment, we buy outright on sale, on Craigslist or through someone going out of business. Granted we have no debt (for the most part) but man it is a struggle. A struggle I don't think many families would do or even attempt. Sometimes I think we are crazy. 

Then I get an email from a bride, or someone with an allergy, who thanks us- who comments on how they would never go anywhere else- and it makes the stress worth it. It makes us push. Hustle. 

We have a motto at the bakery, and no we don't take credit for it but whenever we get overwhelmed one of us usually looks at someone else and shrugs and says "CAN'T STOP, WON'T STOP" 

So that is what we are doing, not stopping. There is no much planned, and in the works and for someone who can't even keep what they get people for Christmas a secret- this literally hurts me, but it'll be worth it! :)

There is so much to update, and so little time.
I have about 8 minutes until the pre heat button starts singing bright and early, and about 6 more minutes until my coffee goes from blistering hot (the way I like it) to luke warm.

I will try to type fast. A lot is happening, a lot has changed, and a lot well has just been the same- which is always great.

Personally, Professionally, this is MY blog- Myself along with Jeremy own Hardcore Sweet, and we luckily
"own" three beautiful children and a beautiful dog which are more important then Hardcore Sweet.

There I said it, there is actually something more important then work. I see other businesses around the state, and see that some owners do not have kids, and I see how many more events, product and what not they are banging out... we can't. We have limits, big ones. I have three young children that pretty soon, I am going to blink and they are going to be asking to drive my Escalade...Who am I kidding, that will never happen.

No way will I let them drive that car! Haha! :)

I know as a new business, branching out and still branding ourselves it will get easier.
As far as the craze with everyone wanting to own a bakery in Watertown, here is my take.  We did research before we settled in Watertown. Here is why we did
1- We wanted to be close to Waterbury still, our roots, but closer to Litchfield/Torrington area where a lot of our customers are from and where we started at MSMP.
2- There was only another bakery here, which had a TOTALLY different spin and menu then we did (breads, pastries, wholesaling, etc...)
3- We loved the industrial feel... as a cupcake "factory"

Now since we moved in there are I think... 4 or 5 total... in Watertown. My take- I don't care!
It's like pizza, people are going to have their favorite. Do I think that is a lot of bakeries in a smaller town- yes. However, it just makes me want to step up my game more.
Some are different then what we are doing, others are trying to do the exact same thing. Good for them.
I hope we all walk away with not working 100 hours a week and a million dollars.

My only note would have been do a little more research and open up on unclaimed territory- other towns that need a bakery. That is what we will be doing... for our 2nd location of course!

Talking to Jeremy about it- his take "well (so and so) bakery does has the same names as some of our cupcakes, who cares imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" and walked away.
Stopped. Came back and said "If I hear that bakeries start naming cupcakes after hardcore bands, that's when I will snap and go in and talk to them!"

Oh my love, always sticking to his roots! Ha Ha!

Speaking of which, Redscroll Records was a hit again this year for Record Store Day!
It makes me think of this persona and labels people put on others.

Can I just say "Hardcore Kids" who come in our shop are some of our best customers. Always friendly, welcoming, patient if they need to wait for more vegan to come out. Supportive. And do not mind the price ticket of $15 for a six pack. They add on vegan soap, and a hot rod bag to their order with no problem.

These people are maniacs. And we love it! 

It makes us get ready for This Is Hardcore. Only a few months to go and we will be in Philly doing 18 hour days, sweating our bags off in a tin can truck.

Besides random events booked out all fall, a lot of people are getting married! It is awesome! 

We are also doing a lot of classes-

One coming up we are PSYCHED FOR... Lucky Taco class part 2 on CINCO DE MAYO!! 

This is going to be awesome. Tequila, Cupcakes and the best tacos ever.
They did just win Best of Hartford 2 years in a row!! So proud of this couple.

Not only are they great vendors we have worked with, but friends- and really hard workers who get the whole balancing kids, home life, bills and working hours until you look like a zombie. 

Go like their page and see why they are voted the best. 

Honestly, Dave has me hooked on coleslaw, or their housemade coleslaw. 28 years old and NEVER would touch that mayonaise soaked cabbage. He has shown me the upscale freshness of a delicious  addition to tacos.

https://www.facebook.com/LuckyTaco

Sign up for the class too... May 5th! 

http://www.hardcoresweetcupcakes.com/#!upcoming-classes/c1r49

I promise I will update more. 

Ha. I even laughed out loud after I wrote that.
But seriously, I will try. 

I swear I thought I would be better at this blogging thing.
I swear I am doing ten million things a day, and then I think "oh this would be good to include in the blog" 

Alas, it never happens. As much as people think we are a big operation, we aren't. Some might say I am a control freak. Some people bein my husband.

I have no shame in it. I have to say, since opening our own space, the response has been overwhelming. And guess what, I take that personal. This is something I gave up everything for. So if someone gives us rave reviews, I take it personally. If someone gets pissed about a price, or their cupcakes, or anything that people can nit pick, guess what I take that personal. One great form of advice was from Dan at John Bale, do not put your emotions in business. It's true you can't. 
In nursing though, I did the same. I'm a sap sucker deep down inside. My bitch Italian attitude hides it very well, but I do, I'm too emotional..and probably why I work so many hours. If something is wrong- its on me.

So what do we have coming up... Valentines Day is coming, and probably the business time of year .we are getting ready though. Slowly. 

I think during blogging I am going to start showing you some tips that we do in the bakery, and some of ur favorite items we like to we. Like cocoa...I can't even describe the difference in cocoa, and how much of a difference it makes in your baking. That extra $2.00 between the fancy brand of cocoa you can not pronounce vs. the store brand is WELL worth it. If you have it! The color, smell, and richness it gives is so different...it's scary! If not, I like to add a little bit of espresso or strong coffee to bring out the chocolate flavor in with a less expensive cocoa powder. Try it!


Another topic i am going to hit upon on this post is our location. We love it, like I mean really love it. It's a big enough space, it's affordable, it's run by the nicest family, an awesome manager, and full of many many many incredible businesses with more coming in. The signage, I get it people! We have no front sign. It is happening. We like to do everything by the rules. Everything has to approved by the town, the building owners, certain colors, sizes and material are all factors. And we are in a really really old building... We have to wait to drill into those bricks. You come in the store, shake your head that couldn't find me. But in reality you did. And we thank you for that.

We are working on it. Really. We sell ot almost every day, shy deeds if cupcakes and orders go out with an actual sign who knows how may more. The word of mouth with these newly devoted fans and our amazing ones who have been with us since day one on a truck have been great abut spreading the word and directs! 

Another blog post will be up soon...I swear. Rig now on an iPad you can't do too. Inch. Ate you can and I'm old fashioned and I like a desk top. Not even a laptop. And I'm determined to get one for the house again. We have iPads, laptops and net books here, but my desktop was brought to the business and as much as I like my bakery, I like seeing. My kids, hearing them laugh and hearing all about their day! Trust me I can't even go into the guilt this momma feels, to go from astray at home mom (an amazing me at that , tootin my own horn!) to abusiness owner that took off instantly and working 16 hrs most days, is agony most days. Heartbreaking.  Bunny is going to be three tomorrow. THREE!

My heart :(  she's sick, and the boys haves snow day on my day off !!! On that note, I am spending the day getting goofy, and fighting the last of this crappy cold.. Busy weeks ahead of us with exciting news around the corner to announce. 

XO